As I’ve said in other articles, parenting is the hardest job in the world. If you are a lucky one who has a partner in crime, here is a tip that may help your parenting.
A friend of mine recently told me about the parenting “safe word”. It’s a concept that I never thought of (and quite frankly was jealous I had never thought of because IT’S GENIUS!!!).
Basically, when one parent realized the other parent has crossed over to the dark side of parenting, ie. yelling, saying things they may regret later, over stimulating the situation, using techniques we all know don’t work, whatever… a safe word is used by the then sane parent to let the other parent know “time’s up…white flag…let me take over…I got it…you’re making things worse.”
This. Is. Genius.
We all get into a rhythm with our kids. For example, bed time:
The calm, “Ok, it’s bedtime.”
The waves, “I said IT’S BEDTIME!”
The storm, “If you don’t get into bed now, I’m going to…” yada yada yada!!!!!
What if there was another adult who yelled a code word, such as “Argyle!” that let you know YOU are out of line. Wouldn’t that be helpful?!?
THAT is a parenting safe word.
A word that puts you back into your adult senses. A word that brings you back into reality. A word that says, “I’m arguing with a 5 year old….what the hell is wrong with me? I know better than this!”
A word that temporarily relieves you from your duties so you can take a breath, realize what the situation is while the other parent calmly takes over, and lets you evaluate the situation as the adult that you are.
It can literally be any word that crosses your mind. BUT, keep in mind, kids are smart and will eventually figure out the word and what it might mean. You may have to switch it up every few weeks to prevent the kid backlash of “haha, you’re in trouble with mommy!!”
Ahhhhh. Parenting safe word.
We all need a PAUSE BUTTON sometimes. And if you are fortunate enough to have someone in your household that will help you come to your senses with a Safe Word, USE IT!!
If you haven’t already check out my Top Parenting Help Books and Top Parenting Videos. Reading or watching just a little bit will help you on this difficult journey we call parenting.
